Sunday Devotional: The wedding feast invitation


Source: Sunday Devotional: The wedding feast invitation

Take your seat at the table with our savior, Jesus Christ. All in His light are welcomed and loved. His word will set you free.

Together we can live by the word and love one another. Feast together in celebration of the Holy Spirit. Accept Him and let Him into your heart. He is the only way to salvation. Repent your sins and cast away the demons that leech upon your soul in the name of Jesus Christ. Cleanse yourself and make yourself into a new creation by the Lord.

I have become a new person in Jesus Christ. Let go of my past life and behaviors. Remain hungry for His word and the teachings found within the pages of the bible. Live by His laws and treat others with love and respect. Earn your seat at His table and invite others to join. This is how to spread love and show people the way. By living with Christ and letting your actions influence people to the truth. Your life is just waiting to be changed for the better, but first you need to find your Faith. Faith is what makes all the difference. Faith in Christ and faith in the way he has lain for us. Trusting that God is on your side and that the Holy Spirit fill your soul.

Self, Restored.

divine, drugs, faith, life, lifestyle, spirituality

The day finally came where my morals were fully restored. The ways I would talk, act and just be were no longer appealing to me. To be honest, they were starting to repulse me. Seeing other people behavior in these manners strike a chord in me that was not there before. Not while the drugs were still swirling around my mind, clouding my spirit. Those were dark days, my mind becoming an enemy rather than an identity. It seemed as if the darkness could dig its way deeper and deeper into my life, affecting every area of it with its  ashy, soot covered claws. I was literally a shell of the woman I used to be. Filled with sorrow and hate, my only desire was to get out of my head with the aid of substances cultivated by the devil himself.  Receding deeper and deeper into the abyss of my mind, I shunned away my family and my true friends. Isolated myself by being surrounded by strangers. 

How many times must one utter this false response before they realize that no, they are not fine, and it’s not ok? It almost as repetition would make it reality, but the only reality was that my life was in complete and total darkness. Living in sin and doing great harm to one’s physical body and psyche. Our body is our temple, how did so many people forget this? This is an especially heartfelt warning to the woman who are lost, our bodies and reproductive systems are precious. We must nurture and care for them. Cycles of parties and drugs, ingredients unknown and dangerous, are destroying our minds and our organs. It is really the time to step up and decide to cleanse yourself. Cleanse yourself of all the darkness that is eating away at your chance for redemption. Nothing you have done has to go unforgiven. You can turn your will, your darkness, your past and your traumas over to God. He is waiting, and He has already forgiven you through his son, our Lord, Jesus Christ. Form a bond with Him, a relationship with Him. Confess your sins and your thought to Him, speak to him out loud or within your mind. Talk to Him and ask Him for advice, as you would a psychiatrist. This is the greatest chance you will ever have at a true life. Living in sin isn’t really living, it’s tormenting your body and soul in the most insidious way. It seems all fun and games at first, until your own body is fighting against you and your mind holds you prisoner. These are not exaggerations. I have been there first hand. I will link a past blog post that goes over my past regressions and situations if your curious to hear my backstory. I have forgiven myself of all the things done then. I became a new person when I found myself and confessed to Christ. He has opened to door too so many new opportunities in such a short time, blessings – real ones! Not cars and makeup and fancy clothes. Open your heart up to Him an you will open yourself to His blessings. It will be the best move you ever make!


Everyday Steps to Living in Christ:

Here are a few things that can help us through our ‘not okay’ moments of life:

Pour our Heart out to God. Psalm 62:8 says, “…pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” Sometimes we assume God knows everything about us so there is no point in voicing it to Him. But when we truly trust God and look to Him as our refuge in times of trouble, we will go to Him and share everything that is in our hearts—the good, the bad and the ugly—like we would a best friend. This fosters closeness and intimacy with our Heavenly Father, which then brings comfort and healing during our ‘down in the dump’ times.

Learn to be Vulnerable. Paul says, “…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). The Holy Spirit will enable us to be vulnerable, freeing us from fear of what others might think. We will be able to admit we need others to sustain us on this road of life and in turn, we will be able to receive the love God may extend through them.

Have the Courage to Cry. John 11 records how Jesus “wept” after Mary came to him about her dead brother. Jesus wept! If the Son of God had the courage to cry, we should, too. Shedding tears can be a healthy release of emotion that can bring refreshing and renewal, turning our momentary sorrow into joy, once again.

Persevere through the Valley. Jesus says, “Every valley shall be filled…” (Luke 3:5). He brings us assurance in our lowest times that he will fill us with a fresh fullness of His Spirit and exalt us to a higher plain with Him.

RoadTrip P1 .. Rocky Mountains/Colorado


America the beautiful… and she really, really is. From the east coast to the west coast, our environment in this country drastically changes as you move across the land. From the ocean to the forest, mountains and rivers running into deserts and giant rocks and trees older than countries! Depending on which environment one is in, lifestyles are also a bit different as well. Do you find yourself drawn to the rocky mountains of Denver, Colorado or the very different red rocks of Moeb, Utah? Are you a Jersey shore girl or can you envision yourself on the beaches of San Diego, California? If your like me, you can’t choose just one place! All of the above is a correct answer, right?

Red Rocks by the Colorado River … this environment is one my body was built for!

The first part of the trip was a total exploration of Colorado. I have been extremely curious about this part of the country for its top notch outdoor offerings and newly minted cannabis industry. Hiking the rocky mountains is every outdoor lover’s dream, and even with my semi-recent total ACL tear (4 months ago now) I was able to stagger up some advanced trails around the area. To my surprised yet thrilled brain, the fact I could still  maneuver my favorite kind of rock scrambling made my heart fill with joy. Rock scrambling is one of my favorite sectors of hiking, free-hand rock climbing up huge boulders and cliffs as you follow the trail. This was one activity my mind was really convinced i’d have to give up this year because of my injury. But alas, my body proved me wrong! She was ready to go go GO! This really improved my mental state by the tenfold, and motivation was plentiful once I knew what I was capable of.

Being in this new environment bought about some changes to my body. The dry heat was comforting and energizing. In shorts and a tank top I could be running around outside all day, no problem! Even the nice warm breeze wrapped me up in a gentle hug each time it blew. This is my favorite kind of weather… mountains meet the desert. It walks a fine line of too hot and totally comfortable. The sun is strong and beaming yet sits so well on my skin. The rocks offer some shade from the light and coolness under one’s flesh when used as a bench. Or bed. I loved to stretch out on the rocks and look out amougnst the sky. When night fell this view was equally as spectacular. Millons of bright, shining dots splattered across the midnight black sky. The most stars I have ever seen met my eyes as I gazed upward. This is one particular setting I will never forget. Standing there it seemed as if I could really feel the weight of the universe. A reminder of how small we really are in this vast galaxy. The smudge of light that is the Milky Way caught my eyes as well, a smear of light blue and purples. Everything in sight, visible so clearly, yet so far away.

Depending on where you are, your diet can be made up of rattlesnake and rocky mountain oysters (buffalo balls!) or vegan veggie wraps and seared tofu more in tune with beach-esque diets. Being the adventerous eater myself, I ate all of the above!

Meditation that Mesmerizes ++videos

meditation, new age, spirituality

So i’ve been meditating a lot since my injury. It’s become a regular habit at this point. The sense of peace and clam that come over me, the clear direction and inspiration I draw from this time … these things make this practice all the more worthwhile. It took some adjusting to really learn the methods of clearing ones mind. Racing thoughts and evaluation are part of my MO, so this was a challenging aspect of mediation for me. In the days and weeks following my injury at the beginning phase, I found it much easier to quite my mind and fall into that deep trance-like state. A healing body plus some intense pain let my mind thirst for a sense of contentment. Some sort of relief. Well, it worked so well this practice became daily ritual for me. I tried all sorts of guided mediation (I will link some below!) and binaural beats embedded within music for my own cycles.

With practice, I was able to start communicating with the greater universe and explore life’s questions I eagerly awaitined answers for. One of my more profound experiences was during a mediation for meeting your Spirit Guide. After building some mental imagery of a vast, empty beach with mountainous cliffs lining the shoreline. As I walked through the gently crashing waves, letting the cool water wash over my feet, I called out into the vastness. Mentally I asked my spirit guide to come to me, and tell me their name. With no thought or mental process on my part, a huge, bright light appeared in my sight, hovering over the ocean. The name Eliana was both whispered and called out as an introduction. Hearing this name took me by surprise. My analyzing mind kicked into gear, trying to decide this name? Why not a cooler sounding name? something… ancient. Well it turns out, the name Eliana means “bright light”. Exactly how she appeared to me. After looking up this name meaning chills ran down my body. Things were lining up, making sense. Is this spiritual world actually truly something real? Many people believe, for many years. Am I one of them? More exploration was in order. Since this time i’ve been practicing mediation several times a week, am so far i’m thrilled with the results. There is much more work to do, but this is a life long journey, not something to be rushed. I hope this can inspire someone out there to try a guided mediation for themselves! YouTube has a great selection of videos. Try some below!


Guided Meditations & Binaural Beats Videos

Summertime Spotlight ++recipe videos

beauty, lifestyle, natural, raw food, remedies, yoga

As a July baby, the Summer is my prime time. When I absolutely thrive. I welcome the heat, hot humid craziness upon my body. The comfortable warmth, the feeling of the sun darkening my skin. The sun weaves golden highlights through my hair, a makeover by none other then Mother Nature herself! All that’s needed with this is a little tender love and care to my skin and hair. Nature can do the rest 😉
Check out my list for a Sexy Summer beauty routine.


I’ve been doing very well with my raw food diet and natural skin care routine. My body is showing me how much it likes this new routine by getting into awesome shape and giving me glowing skin! I could not be happier, or more excited, for summer 2017. My vastly improved raw food diet and yoga/running/PIYO/workouts have really been whipping my body into shape. This is some of the fastest, yet still healthy! results i’ve ever experienced. I highly recommend even a 3 to 5 day raw food detox to jump start your body in the right direction. I lost all the weight I gained since my injury and then some, totally toned up changing the whole look of my body, and digestion is smoother than ever with energy levels much higher than before. Literally only good things come out of a lifestyle like this!

Photo on 6-5-17 at 10.36 AM

Breakfast: Vanilla yogurt with Chia Seeds, Hemp Seeds, strawberries & blueberries!

Adding things like Chia seeds, flax seeds and hemp seeds into your yogurts, smoothies, recipes, etc is an amazing way to jam pack nutrients into any meal. These little seeds have the most amazing benefits, they are called super foods after all! These seeds are loaded with fiber, protein, Omega-3 fatty acids and various micronutrients. These types of seeds can be a bit pricey, but for what your getting for the money and how long a bag of this will last, its all worth it 100%. Chia pudding is a popular snack for raw foodies and is quite easy to make:

Triple D’s


Unfortunately not the fun, squishy glee-inducing kind. These are untouchable, yet consuming. A dark tower blocking the sunshine from our bodies, leaving us shivering in the cold. Trapped in a shadow looking for any source of light to come and bring us relief, and for some it is never found.

Down .. Despondent .. Depressed

These are no ways to live. When that inner light gets so dim you wonder if it’s finally happened, completely jaded. No return type stuff. Alas, I am not here … but sometimes I get close and the feeling is insufferable. I prefer the light, airy side of things. Happiness is a feeling one can easily overlook, foreshadowed by the problems of mankind. That warm, ethereal feeling of pure content is one I look upon fondly. Embrace it with wide, open arms. I would welcome this feeling at all times, for the darkness is no place for me to remain. My whirling, mentally consuming and quick thought could easily bog me down. I get so wrapped up in my head, chasing one though after another I know there is no way i’m processing them fully.

Kratom & feeling normal again…

drugs, kratom, natural, remedies, suboxone, Uncategorized

Patiently waiting for this:

I got an overnight air delivery so it should arrive today by 3pm. I really cannot wait for this kratom to arrive. It is a mix of several bags of different strains. Some are for energy, some for euphoria, and some for painkilling and relaxation. Kratom is a natural plant that is related to the coffee plant. It is ground down into fine powder to mix in drinks or make tea. You can also put it in capsules if the taste it not for you, it’s quite bitter. This plant is really quite the miracle drug. It has helped many opiate users get of the nasty pharmaceuticals and live a clean, happy life. I have been taking subutex for almost three months now and last week I have decided to come off of it. Everything else I take is natural, this damn pill had to go. I remember the last time I was off everything and had such a clear mind and soul.

That look on my face is because I just smoked some herb 🙂

No damn subs at this time though! I was feeling and looking great. Truly have a love for hiking and the Hudson Valley is a great place to do so. It is time to return to this healthy, happy version of myself.

I finally started going back to the mineral spa to workout, swim and hit the jacuzzis. It was an amazing feeling to finally do the elliptical for a sustained amount of time with no pain. My tore ACL is behaving quite nicely and seems to be healing naturally just fine. My goal is to avoid any surgery and heal myself in an intelligible way. If my knee does heal to the point of full return to my normal activities I will most certaintly write out a whole healing plan for torn ACLs and other ligaments!


Check out my google photos! This link is to one photo and there are many more on my page: